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Allgemein Thoughts

Thoughts | Before the solution comes the struggle

I like to write down my thoughts not because I believe I have it all figured out. In fact, I am quite far from that, but it helps me structure and memorize important learnings. I do have quite a good level of self-awareness. I realize when my feelings might be a bit distorted or „not well grounded“. For sure every feeling has its validity but as someone who is pretty rational AND sensitiv/emotional at the same time, I know when my prefrontal cortex (rational side of the brain) is telling „Oh please get over yourself, you lousy limbic system (emotional side of the brain)!“. In some phases they are discussing very strongly back and forth – let’s call them phases of struggle. These phases of struggle are mostly those moments in life where fundamental – potentially life changing – decisions have to be made, like right after high school, after you graduate, when you change jobs… or even when you decide to be with or leave someone. You name them, there are many struggles in life. They can also be of smaller nature, but I want to focus now on how to deal with the bigger struggles, the ones that take time and wont be resolved in a matter of minutes or hours.

The struggle is real (and important)

For the majority of people, opportunities and solutions dont just come flying in; instead they require time, patience and (mental) work. You have to gather information, you have to deal with a multitude of contradicting emotions, you have to give up something, you have to accept and acknowledge other things, you have to oppress, you have to embrace, you maybe have to fail at first, but one thing is for sure: You have to struggle before you can arrive at the solution. And yes, it is an unpleasant feeling and we would rather „skip to the good part“. But eventually, we need to acknowledge that the struggle is the key to the solution. No struggle. No solution. We have to go through this rollercoaster of emotions and burning brains because this is exactly the breeding ground for the solutions and answers we are seeking. The struggle is essential to the solution.

What to do in times of struggle

I can sing a song about how annoying and frustrating it is to be in the phase of struggle – but to spare you my terrible voice, I will try to write down some tactics that I have learned from my own experiences as well as from people I talked to. This helps me to internalize them and maybe also helps you.

1. Associate „struggle“ with something positive

We tend to think about struggling in very negative ways; with someone who barely makes it; someone in times of difficulties. But if struggling leads to solutions, then why don’t we see it more like a „phase of experimentation and creativity“? I dont want to bluntly say „just embrace the struggle“, but if you find yourself in a situation where you have to make a life decision, you are holding so much power! Maybe the struggle can be empowering? Mh. If you see it that way, it might make you already feel so much better about yourself.

2. Establish your safe space

Making it through the struggle, or as we now call it „phase of experimentation and creativity“, it is super important to create a safe and comfortable space in which you are able to figure things out. Where is it that you are most focused to think about your big next step? Who do you want to involve in this process, if at all? Get rid of the unnecessary distractions, get rid of people’s loud posts about their successes (unless it somehow inspires you), get rid of negative energies. Things are already extremely complicated and your brain is working at 120%, so you have to create yourself the right environment that makes you still feel at ease despite the hard work you are doing.

3. Have patience and manifest it

Probably the most annoying thing about the struggle is its variable time. We do not know how long the struggle will last. We do not know when the solution magically pops up and leads us to making the final decision. Even if you think that you are already putting in all your heart into this, it might still need a little bit more until you arrive at the „Aha“-moment. And you may encounter even some solutions that will only lead you into the next struggle. So you have to be patient. Great things don’t happen in a day. Impatience will be a roadblock in your journey and simply create more stress and anxiety. Manifest it – keep believing that after the struggle there will always be a solution.

This post was heavily inspired by the many recent talks I had with family and friends as well as by the book I am currently reading: Next! The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work by Joanne Lipman.

Allgemein Thoughts

Thoughts | How to be confident in absence of external confirmation

I’ve always been a stickler for doing things the „right“ way. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I’ve been excellent at it. I don’t hesitate to admit it, and here’s why: I have the proof in my school and university grades. Someone decided that I was doing great. There’s a unique satisfaction in knowing that an external authority has quantified and approved of my performance. This confirmation legitimizes my confidence and the pride I take in my actions. After all, if I’ve earned excellent grades, it must mean I’m on the right track, doing well, right?

This belief system functions admirably during childhood and in the academic realm, acting as a motivator and guide. However, as one matures and enters the workforce, the absence of such a clear-cut system becomes evident. How can I determine whether I’m excelling or heading in the right direction? For someone like me, who relies heavily on external confirmation and may even have built a substantial part of their identity around it, this absence has been disorienting and is profoundly impacting my self-perception.

How can I draw confidence without the confirmation from others?

We not only need to stop seeking for external confirmation but most importantly, we have to alter that belief system that was hammered into us throughout all of our forming years.

1. There is no „right“ way of doing things

We have to get rid of the idea that there is a „right“ way of doing things. There is no one correct answer to the questions we are asking ourselves – life is not a multiple choice question, where there is only a single truth. If at all, the only correct answer could be „all of the above“. But life is also about making decisions, so we might just have to follow our intuition (like with exam questions where we have simply no clue because we forgot to review the chapter about it). This might me less satisfying, but without a concept of right or wrong, we ought to embrace the idea of ambiguity.

2. Only YOU can know if you are on the right track

Without external confirmation, I started to believe that I am not this confident person I thought I was but that I am actually deeply insecure about myself. This made me realize that true confidence cannot come from external validation, but it must come from inside for it to be real. YOU have to believe in yourself, not someone else. Only you know if you’re headed into the „right“ direction (remember there is no „right“; only your intuition). While this may sound like a cheesy quote they would put on top of a sunset photo, I now truly understand what it means.

3. Re-define personal accomplishments and pride

The system taught us that high grades are the most desirable achievements and therefore you can be proud of yourself. Again, we have to start questioning this concept. There are many reasons you can take pride, may it be just for getting out of bed in the morning. YOU set your personal accomplishments, not someone else.

It’s time to create your own system of confirmation

I believe that if we keep these three things in mind, we can create our own system of confirmation – one that is defined on a personal, individual level. One that is not as simple as a grading system, but truly reflects the complexity of life and the plethora of possibilities we have in order to make ourselves proud and build confidence that is real and not socially constructed.


MBFW Berlin 2017 Day Three – Warm & Stylish

warm & stylish

Day three of Mercedes Benz Fashionweek Berlin has arrived and I had made one major learning from the two days before – Don’t wear light clothes when it’s freezing outside only because you want to look good. And who said you cannot wear something warm & stylish at the same time? Well yes, it’s not impossible but it’s also not that easy. The purpose of warm clothes is functional; they are primarily not supposed to be stylish. This obviously is not always the case but most of the time it certainly is. Anyway, on day three I grabbed the prettiest warm stuff I have and simply started layering. Despite ripped jeans, I must say that this warm & stylish outfit felt like heaven compared to my other two looks the days before. I felt like I could resist Siberian winters, haha.

So, what was on my plan on day three? Networking, networking, networking! I used the day in order to go to a couple of blogger events like the Hashmag Blogger Lounge or the Leck mich am Hashtag Blogger Brunch, where I got in contact with so many nice colleagues plus I was provided with good fooooood. Other than that, I went to the Panorama Trade Show and had a look at the designers‘ new collections. By the way, those trade shows are also the perfect opportunity for bloggers to find new potential collaboration partners. So, for all of you bloggers, I can only recommend visiting those trade shows. I ended the day with a nice dinner with some friends at an Asian restaurant and went to bed at like 10pm. Fashionweek can be pretty exhausting… especially when it’s cold… brrr…. but it was also so much fun and exciting – can’t wait for my next Fashionweek!

// I’m Wearing:
Jacket –
Jeans – Hollister
Net Stockings – no name
Turtleneck – H&M
Boots – &Other Stories

Shop the Look:

warm & stylish warm & stylish warm & stylish warm & stylish warm & stylish warm & stylishDesigual_bag


Thoughts // About what Christmas really means to me

Christmas 2016

It’s that time of the year again. We fight the darkness with colourful lights and give back to the ones we love, warming up the atmosphere and our hearts. Well, that is what they say. Reality always looks different, but don’t let me be the pessimistic one here – in every saying is always some truth. You cannot deny that Christmas time … is different! People do more good, give to charity and spend more time with their families. And this is reality. The whole gifting stress is just like noise, it’s irrelevant in the end.

While many people think it’s hypocrite that people suddenly become „good“ during the Christmas holidays by arguing that we actually should aways be like that, I think that this sudden behavioral change is better than nothing. We get so soaked up in our daily lives that we loose perspective on the important things. Are we to blame for that? I don’t know. All I know is that if we can break free from that, at least once per year for a couple of days, it is better than nothing. This is what Christmas really means to me. It’s a little wake-up call. Some time for reflection. A complete shuffle of priorities. For some this phase only lasts for the holidays, for others it might extend even longer. And yea, the longer the better. But falling back into old habits is just human.

So my Christmas holidays are probably exactly that. Plus, of course a little bit of party and turning off the overthinking mode. I havent quite figured out what I will wear yet, but this glittery top from Desigual  or the red dress I’m wearing on the pictures… I’ll see!

Oh and by the way – you can win this beautiful rosegold Bracelet on my instagram! Just head over and comment under my last post :)

// I’m Wearing:
Dress – Virgo Boutique
Top, Bag & Bracelet* – Desigual

Christmas DesigualChristmas 2016 Christmas 2016 Christmas 2016Christmas DesigualChristmas 2016



Allgemein Shopping

Best Black Friday Deals and My Favorite Picks For You

best black friday deals

The weekend we all have been waiting for – Black Friday and Cyber Weekend has finally arrived and now is the time to spend your money wisely! It’s crazy, so many shops have come up with amazing black friday deals, that I thought it might be a good idea to collect the best black friday deals in one blog post for you. Most of the shops have vouchers of around 20-25%, which is pretty good, especially if you want to invest in a designer piece. I’ve been dreaming about a Chloé Bag for so long, that it is so tempting to just buy now! Oh well, let’s see if I go mad myself this weekend …

Find the best black friday deals and a selection of my favorite picks below


20 % off at Zalando with „BLACKFRIDAY16“


Jacket / Clutch / Rose Pullover / Duodenim Jeans / Black Bag / Metallic Skirt / Pink Bag / Pumps / Leo

25% off at NA-KD with „BLACKWEEKEND“

20% off at ASOS with „GOGOGO“

20% off Fashionette with „XMAS2016“


 50% off selected items at &Other Stories


20% off at MANGO with „BLACK“

Up to 30% off Deals at Edited & AboutYou


30% off at Luisa Via Roma with „BFRW30“


15% Off at Daniel Wellington with „ranhelwa“ + an additional Bracelet for free!

Daniel Wellington Blogger Code

Up to 70% off at


… more Shops to save money at:

20% off at Sephora 

40% off at The Body Shop

20% off at Douglas

25% off at Shopbop 

Up to 30% off Sale Items at MyTheresa 

Allgemein Outfit

The Mom Jeans – You cannot deny them anymore

Mom Jeans monki

Its so funny – I remember that more than three years ago I used to have this column on my blog called „Yay or Nay?“, in which I wrote about new trends, what I think about them and if I would wear them. One time I wrote about Mom Jeans, when they just had started to go in style again (check out the post here!). I used this picture of girls from the 90s, from the popular series Beverly Hills 90210 to show what I associate with this trend. To be honest, I was thinking what the hell is the fashion industry trying to sell us – this will never go back into mainstream fashion again. During that time we were still recovering from flared pants, and skinny jeans were the thing. Going back to loose „carrot pants“ was nothing to be considered, at least not for me. Haha, reading this old post, I could not have been more sarcastic and patronising about this trend. My old me would shake her head now if she saw what I am wearing right now. Well, but to be fair, I was not completely wrong back then. It actually took us and the mainstream shops quite some years to fully accept this kind of jeans again. Now, baeem, almost three years later they are all over the place. Moreover, I just realized that I also wrote about Birkenstocks (here!) and for some reason I was quite optimistic and already gave a Go back then to those comfy sandals. It’s no secret that trends always return, but I believe they go through different phases – just like any other product life cycle (shoutout to the business students out there, haha). A slow kick-off with only the really trendy fashionistas daring to try out the trend; then a rapid growth, when the mainstream starts to accept the trend and then stagnation and decline, when everyone is just like ehhhh enough of this. I guess in terms of Mom-Jeans and Birkenstock we are currently and the highest point and I believe latest in 2-3 years we got enough of it. We will see… maybe I will write a post again looking back at this one ;-)

// I’m Wearing:
Mom Jeans – Monki (get here; similar here)
Crop Top – Bardot (similar here, here)
Sandals – Birkenstock Gizeh Fringe
Blazer – Zara (similar here)
Bag – Stella McCartney
Lipstick – Mac Cosmetics; Chili (here)

Mom Jeans monki Mom Jeans monki Mom Jeans monki Mom Jeans monki

Allgemein Shopping

Autumn Essentials 2016 for Avoiding Autumn Depression

Autumn Essentials

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12

Days are getting shorter, temperatures are dropping and it just does not stop raining. Autumn can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, which is why so many of us fall into a kind of „autumn depression“. Because being depressed is obviously no fun, especially when it is caused by a change of season (Hello again, first world problems!), we should do something against falling into such a state of mind. Just as the weather has a psychological effect on us, I believe that the way we dress also affects our well-being. So while it is dark and uncomfortable outside, we can wear clothes that will brighten up our day, simply because we feel comfortable in them or because their colors create some kind of positivity.

Now is the time to prepare for these days, which is why I made a little collage for you with my Autumn Essentials for avoiding autumn depression. All characterized by bright colors (except for the boots… I simply love black boots!!!), and comfy and warm materials.

  1. Boots, boots and booooooots: The only thing I miss wearing during summer are boots! I am a huge fan of any kind of leather boots and I already found two amazing boots at Zalando and Topshop. I’ve been eyeing them for a while now and think that I will buy at least one of them this season. By the way, you should check out the shoes from Zinda – It’s a pretty cool brand I recently discovered.
  2. Autumn Outerwear: Since autumn is all about layering, it is not necessary yet to get a super thick jacket. A light long coat or a padded denim jacket are a great pick in that case.
  3. Cozy Pullovers: I guess we all agree that autumn pullovers have to be cozy and warm. I found a nice selection of bright and comfy pullovers at Bonprix. I’m a big fan of natural colors but a poppy red will boost your mood 2x more!
  4. Bright and natural Make Up: I know, usually autumn is the time for darker colors, even if it comes to Make-Up. However, just like with your clothing, I feel like a bright and natural Make-Up will remind you of the beautiful summer days. Rosé colors, and again maybe a poppy red, would be the right way to go.

Here is one look from last autumn in order to show you what I mean :)

Autumn essentials

Allgemein Travel

Five Amazing Low-budget Things to Do in Sydney

When I chose Sydney for my semester abroad, I knew that living there was going to be extremely expensive. Australians are pretty much used to it, especially because they also earn higher salaries accordingly. However, as an international student, you know that you will end up super broke by the end of the semester. So, with weekly rents that added up to almost twice the rent I paid back in Maastricht and limited time to cook a cheap meal at home, it was clear that I had to cut costs on other things. Luckily, there are plenty of activities to do in Sydney that are for free. Most of them are outdoors, but with an annual average of 236 sunny days a year, one does not really have to worry about the weather anyway. Here are five low-budget things to do in Sydney, that will only cost you the transportation to get there.


1. Do the Bondi to Coogee Walk

Bondi to Coogee

Iceberg Pools SydneyWant to explore Sydney’s beaches? Well then the Coogee to Bondi walk is the right thing for you. It is a pretty easy route of about 5km that is also ideal for jogging or running. My recommendation – grab a nice and fresh Smoothie at Calipress Juice at Coogee and then start walking along the beautiful coastal line, passing by Coogee, Clovelly, Bronte, Tamarama and Bondi Beach. Beyond the lovely beaches and cliffs, you will also get to see cool surfers (or maybe try out surfing yourself!), the old Victorian Waverly Cemetery, the Bondi Ice Berg Pools and many other things. Furthermore, it offers plenty of opportunities for sports, like the outdoor gyms, surfing, kayaking, snorkling and other things.

2. Visit the Figure Eight Pools in the Royal National Park

Royal national park Sydney

Royal national park SydneyOnly 1,5 hours by train from central Sydney you can reach the Royal National Park. It covers an area of 15k hectare and is supposed to be the oldest purposed national park. Since it’s so huge, there are so many things to discover and sooo many hikes to do. However, what we were after were the famous Figure Eight Pools! Recently extremely trending on Instagram, getting there is not too easy. Once you are there though, the view is simply amazing – one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. You need to be careful, however, and check the tides before you go there. You will only be able to see the pools during low tides. Once the tides are starting to get higher, make sure to quickly get away, since the strong waves will hit the rocks and seriously injure you.

3. Walk over the Harbour Bridge

HArbour-bridge-sunset Opera_house_view

You could pay over $300 to climb over the Harbour Bridge … or you can simply walk over it for free. You will get an amazing view and see the Opera house and the Sydney Skyline from a unique angle. My recommendation is to do it around sunset time and in that way enjoy the beautiful lights and colors in the sky reflecting on the city.

4. Feed Kangaroos at Morisset Park

Morisset Park
The kangaroo picture is basically obligatory when going to Australia! So, instead of paying to get to the Zoo and see kangaroos through a window, you can simply take the train to Morisset and experience these cute animals in their natural habitat. Make sure to buy some bananas before you go, so you can feed them! Furthermore, I can assure you that they are super tame and you can pet them without being scared – no they will not box you. Just be nice to them, and they will be as cute as they look to you!


5. Go Hiking in the Blue Mountains

Blue MountainsLeura Cascades
Another low-budget must-do in Sydney is going to the Blue Mountains! You can either go there for a day trip, or even spend a couple days there camping. Do not ask me why, but for some scientific reason, this mountainous area takes on a blue-greyish color when viewed from distance. The hikes there range from easy to extremely difficult and exhausting, so make sure to check the routes first before you start your hike. The Leura Cascades is one of the highlights which you should definitely check out as well, and fortunately getting there does not take a too hard walk!